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Heart of Forgiveness

A Practical Path to Healing

ebook
2 of 2 copies available
2 of 2 copies available
"Long on helpfulness and honesty . . . a way of making the daunting, and much needed, practice of forgiveness seem easier and more inviting." —Publishers Weekly
Madeline Ko-i Bastis is a Buddhist chaplain. She works with cancer, AIDS, psychiatric, and Alzheimer's patients, with battered women, caregivers, inmates, with people with addictions, as well as so-called normal people. In her work she has found that the most difficult thing for people to do is to grant forgiveness. Some people cannot ask for forgiveness, others cannot forgive one another. And some don't realize how harsh they are when they cannot forgive the one person they have to live with daily—themselves.

Heart of Forgiveness helps readers reflect on what forgiveness really means and how it can heal their lives and relationships. Ko-i Bastis explores the difficult emotions that keep us from forgiving and offers tools to help us overcome them.

The three parts of Heart of Forgiveness mirror the phrases of the Buddhist Forgiveness practice:
  • For all the harm I have done to others, knowingly or unknowingly, forgive me.
  • For all the harm others have done to me, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive you as much as I can.
  • For all the harm I have done myself, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive myself.

  • Each section includes stories of forgiveness, a meditation, guided imagery, and other exercises to help understand forgiveness and letting go.
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      • Publisher's Weekly

        January 27, 2003
        This short book by the first ordained Buddhist priest to be certified as a hospital chaplain is long on helpfulness and honesty. Forgiveness, says Bastis, is not a decision that emanates from the discriminating forebrain. Instead, it is a process of re-opening a heart that feels wronged and hence unlikely to feel any love for the wrongdoer, a process that requires self-awareness, readiness and practice. To rediscover the "final form of love" (a phrase from the great Christian theologian Reinhold Niebuhr that Bastis uses as an epigraph) that is expressed in forgiveness, Bastis begins with Buddhist morality, using the noble precepts that define ethical conduct. She then explains the "poisons" of anger, greed and ignorance as reasons for wrongdoing. Within this framework, forgiveness can be understood as a process of developing awareness and compassion, including compassion for self-wronging. Bastis supplies plenty of meditation exercises based on watching the breath and on invocations of compassion (loving-kindness, or metta
        practice). The book's principal virtue is its candor. Bastis has spent long periods of her life needing to be forgiven, a history that gives her good credentials. Her exercises occasionally move a practitioner too quickly through the slow process of forgiveness, and more stories from others' experiences could help illustrate her teachings. But perhaps the slenderness of the book is a way of making the daunting, and much needed, practice of forgiveness seem easier and more inviting.

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    • English

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